Well, it looks like we’re going to join the bandwagon now in bringing out the fall outfits. Did that sound slightly dismal? I know it did. I certainly feel that way. Why? Why should I abstain from enthusiasm everyone else has for the Autumn season? Why, whenever Autumn happens to be my favorite season, second to Spring? Why, when we have landed right in the middle of Butterfly Days? I call them butterfly days for the simple fact that this year, October’s landscapes, unlike the previous months, have been filled with the beauteous creatures. Should such a season be approached with despondency? No, of course not, but like the fields, my stomach is full of butterflies; I am anxious for what the future holds.
I certainly don’t look anxious in these photos! Deep down inside, though, you’d see me wandering the halls of the countless files of my memory, trying to find something to hold me down, and keep me from looking too high up at the empty shelves that must be filled with new ones… More on that in just a bit. For now, let me tell you a bit about my outfit.
Our very talented Advertiser, Meadow & Fawn, sent us girls butterfly necklaces to review last year. Since then, my necklace has become one of my favorites. Seeing how colorful it is, the butterfly charm really goes with a lot of the colorful items in my closet, and was the one inspiration behind this Autumnal outfit. I have never before paired orange with my predominantly yellow plaid skirt; but without the necklace, the real focal point, I don’t believe I would have put the two together. The silhouette is definitely late early 50s, due to the half circle skirt, and the style of sweater.
I actually found this sweater this week while shopping at Goodwill, and I was wearing the yellow plaid skirt when I tried it on! I thought, “Wow! This works!” It is still warm outside, and I really didn’t want to layer anything underneath the sweater, so I put on my dickey collar to top it off instead. It makes for a very sophisticated look, I think.
Now, these flats happen to be my Bride’s Maid shoes I wore for the wedding! The classic autumnal pairing of black with orange and red were just too good to pass up, so I wore them, guiltlessly.
One final thought on this look would concern my hair: If you are every wanting an effortless 50s hairdo without any prep work, just wind it up into a bun. Though a well styled head of hair was supremely popular during the 50s, pony-tails and buns are perfectly acceptable styles as well. And they’re so easy, too!
Back to my first thoughts…
You might say, “Wait, wait, wait! You’re saying that you’re not focused on the sadness of your sister’s departure from home? You’re not feeling the loss, or emptiness of her absence?” In answer, I already have. That train left the station with my sister on her wedding day. This has not been said yet, but everything that she was to me, left whenever she said yes to Gabriel’s offer to court her. The Brigid I knew and loved so much, died that day. I didn’t realize it until weeks after when I was feeling very confused about why I could no longer “reach” her like I used to. After days of thinking it over, it finally dawned on me that she had irreversibly changed a while ago, and that the sister I was trying to reach, would never respond again. I had to learn how to address the new Brigid.
So in essence, I have already buried the corpse long ago. I had already said my goodbyes, and mourned the loss. Like I said, the train left with my sister. Now I am in the new chapter: Relating to a married sister, learning more about my Brother-In-Law, and using my time much differently than I used to.
That song, “I have Confidence” is very appropriate for this time in my life. I have left the convent of a triune sisterhood, and entered the world of a growing family. I have confidence that the sun will shine. I have confidence it will rain. I have plenty of confidence that the Spring will come again… but I lack the confidence in me.
And that is precisely where God wants me to be. He wants me to be asking, seeking, longing for peace. What He doesn’t want is for me to be constantly wondering, “What will my future be?”. He has it all figured out, and I need only follow. To the world, that sentence right back there was utter foolishness. They all scream slogans like, “Follow your heart!”, “Listen to your feelings and act upon them.” or, “Only do what your heart tells you.” Lies, everyone of them. There is one that that I would have to agree with, though, “The heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of”– Charles H. Perkhurst.
If I did let my heart lead me, I would end up believing everything, and thinking of nothing. God says quite clearly, “The heart is deceitful above all else, and is desperately wicked; who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9. Throughout Scripture the Lord clearly states that we are not to follow our hearts, or else we will fall into sin, and lusts of the flesh. If I were to get up one day and try to walk outside of my faith-bound life, I know for certain where my heart would lead me, and I don’t want to follow. I desire to follow after Jesus, the author of righteousness and goodness. I desire to do well before Him, that I may give a good account when I meet Him face to face on the day of Judgement. I want to hear Him say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant!”
Have I preached long enough do you think? I hope you don’t find it to be preaching, though, I hope that what I have written will be just a clear simple picture of the thoughts that have been going through my head as I have walked through the big transition. I don’t want to move forward on the blog without sharing these thoughts, because they are a huge part of the girl you’re reading about right now. And I know you all care about what is going on, just like I care about you. So instead of hearing a shpeel, I hope you hear the thoughts of a girl whose life is in the midst of change.
Can you relate to my thoughts at all?
What was it like for you when one of your siblings got married?
What do you look forward to in Autumn?
Blessings and love in Christ,
Jessica, the Eldest Sister