Hello there! Well, this week I have come across a wee bit of a dilemma… I realized that my life is really not that bloggable at the moment, that is, for this kind of Modest Fashion/Lifestyle blog. Rest assured, I am working on a rather neat project for our little home on the web, buuuuut… he-he, even that’s not going to be revealed for a little while yet. I’m not going to apologize though, about the fact that I’ve been too busy, because that would be silly. We girls have realized that there are seasons for everything, and none of those seasons of life need to be apologized for. You all are like family to the girls and me, and as such I feel that it would be unfair to you, and careless of me, to write up a super short and very boring excuse post, just because I don’t have anything interesting to share with you all today. Life has been interesting actually, but it can’t really be expressed through photos. So instead, let me tell you all a little bit about the things that have kept me busy this Spring.
For starters, work at the local Greenhouse has begun once again, and though it can be exhausting physically some days, there is no part time job I would rather have. This will be my fourth year at the greenhouse. Each year has been different in some ways, those differences having come from learning how to cope with being away from home, and still remaining integrated in everything the girls are up to with blogging and singing. One goal that I have set for myself this year is to remain upbeat and positive about interacting/working with the girls when I come home after the seemingly long hours at work. In years past, the feelings of exhaustion after work used to get me down, but this year, because I set a goal for myself to not give into my selfish desires and “drop the ball” when I come home, the challenge of learning to overcome this has ironically given me more energy and stamina than ever before! This fact alone has shown me the truth found in Scripture when God declares to us that we can do all things in Christ, by His strength if we only let Him work through us, dropping our own self-centered comforts for His glory. I give Him all the praise for showing this to me!
Next up is exercise. Particularly running. Running used to be the bane of exercise for me personally. However, just like I have seen a change in my work ethic due to the goal I set in place, I have experienced a change in my physical/mental endurance that has helped me overcome my dislike for this kind of recreation. Running is just as much as a mental endurance challenge as it is a physical one; maybe even more so. It’s that mental part that has always kept me from breaking my limits to push through to another level of challenge. I love to be physically active, but to keep me interested in physical exertion my mind needs to be engaged as well. And running… well, running has just never seemed to keep my mind busy enough to keep me going. On top of that, in years past my body has never taken to running very well. It just never felt right. I couldn’t get comfortable with the fast pace like I could with power walking. All that changed with the introduction of fitnessblender.com and our stationary bike. Mom and I began using the free exercise routines on this website all during the winter months. It was super awesome! Just about every morning you would find me in our basement working out using either the website, or peddling hard on the stationary bike and reading a good book at the same time 🙂 Got to love multitasking! I was challenging my brain and body all at once with both methods!
As soon as the weather began to turn, we all took up walking again, and it was while I was on a walk with mom and the girls one morning, that I discovered my new running ability. I had a busy day ahead of me. I needed to get back home to do some things but I still wanted a longer walk, so I ran the second mile instead. For the first time in my life I ran a mile without feeling dead at the end! It was amazing! I realized then what the workouts had been doing for me, and not wanting to lose any of the endurance I had gained, I began adding in a mile run to my walk routine, so I could get both a good walking warm up and cool down before and after my run. I haven’t done it every day, but I have been working up to a mile and a half and I hope to eventually run three miles well. I don’t really care about increasing the distance, so much as I do being able to run a certain distance well.
Finally, after many years of ignoring it, I have picked up drawing and sketching again. Drawing used to be one of my favorite childhood activities. I could sit for several hours, fascinating myself with the challenge of transposing a scene before me, or in my head, onto paper. I lost the intrigue when I entered High School and suddenly everything I did had to serve a purpose in my life. Drawing for some reason lacked a purpose, and so I dropped it. But the game I played inside my head of trying to memorizing the lines and shadows of the things I saw, figuring out how to transpose them onto a piece of paper with a pencil without ever reaching for either of them never left my mind. I think it’s because I played that mental game, that this gift God gave me that I so carelessly abandoned has not really grown rusty! I took up a pencil not too long ago just to see what I could do, and to my astonishment I realized that my understanding had not only remained, but it had gotten better! I excitedly told this to the girls, and now we have conspired of a way to incorporate my drawing abilities in with the blog.
I think I can guess at what you’re thinking about right now. Let me just dissolve the elephant in the room by saying that yes, all of these things have helped ground me back into the life of my family, and away from the hopes and dreams I had stored up for a new life of marriage. I try not to let all of the good times that I experienced during the courtship and engagement haunt the halls of my mind. And for those of you who have gone through something similar to what I went through, you too will know that working hard really can’t ever take away the scares of your hurt, but it can build a new foundation beneath your feet, on which you may safely tread before the Lord. Working with other people, outside of my family, and just being outside has taken the metaphorical roof off the top of the walls that harbored a lot of resentment and bitterness that began to grow after the break up. Running has given me a new perspective on how far the Lord can let us go with our minds and our bodies. I can’t explain the feeling well enough, but it seems running has empowered me with the knowledge that this body of mine will continue to be used for good things. And drawing… there are no words that can be used to express how thankful I am to the Lord for gently bringing that long lost love back into my life to be used with purpose from now on for Him.
So there you have it, a post about nothing, and yet a post about all the things that have overtaken my life and time to help put me back together. You, dear friends, are the last, and best grounding force of all to help me on my journey of healing. Why else do you think I would write that you are to us a community of friends. We write each other, we pray for each other, we live, laugh, and cry with each other. You all are so special to me, and I want to thank you for your love and support you freely give here on the blog. When I write, I know I am writing to friends who care. Soli Deo Gloria!
What has changed in your life this year?
What new challenges are you pursuing?
How has the Lord blessed your life recently?
Love and thankfulness for you all.
Jessica, the Eldest Sister & Singer