These days have been so busy (and rather stressful) with singing behind-the-scenes work, blogging, and other life-events. Of course, the nasty weather hasn’t contributed positively at all (quite the reverse, in fact) and neither have my roller-coaster moods…
I have always struggled inwardly with pride; but this boiling pot has grown so full that it’s beginning to show more than it ever has. I’m growing older, coming up with my own thoughts and ideas; and of course, I think those assessments and ambitions simply the cat’s pajamas… or, if I don’t, I certainly don’t want to show anyone else I don’t think so. A result of this is yet another struggle– listening. Trying to hear what people have to say, while my mind is constantly pulling itself apart with vile thoughts, like “They have nothing good to add. Why even listen? You’re waaaay better than them!” Typically (sadly) those thought overcome any small desire I have to consider for a second what a person is trying to communicate to me; and if what I did hear pricks my conscience, I burst out yelling and screaming, or spewing spiteful words just to put in my grimy two cents… It is all a result of pride, and thinking that my way is the best way. But you know what? It isn’t.
God’s way is best. I’ll say it again and again, and I know I accept it in my heart, but it is so hard conforming my thoughts to His thoughts and my will to His will (Ps. 5:8). I know He is testing me, and that I will (in His good time) come out right in the end (Ps. 40: 2). I will learn self-control and humility. He never forsakes those who are His, and is ever present to forgive and pick us back up when we stumble.
I don’t normally share my heart in this way on the blog, but for some reason I felt I needed to this time. This is a sin that I continually struggle with, and one that I need help and prayers in. God will lead me through it, and I will come out better on the other side. I will never doubt that fact.
The top I’m wearing I actually purchased on clearance from an Old Navy up in MI on our family business trip back in July. Let me put it simply: I Adore It. It’s, like, the perfect top! Horizontal stripes, off-the-shoulder seams, 3/4 length sleeves, lightweight; everything that I’ve wanted in a shirt! I only wish I could’ve gotten a few more in different colors and prints ($4 ea. you guys!), but my money was already spent elsewhere… *sigh*
My necklace I got using part of the Hoot Loot from our Origami Owl party, and I am sooo happy with it! The charms are perfect (did you spot the sweet camera??), and I don’t at all regret getting the locket in gold! For some reason, silver seems to be the most practical of metals as far as jewelry goes, but I wanted to shake things up a bit and get a necklace that I could pair with my small collection of gold earrings. My decision was only strengthened by the fact that it was actually plated in the genuine material. Score!
And now I leave you with silly me kissing golden-rod…